New Year's Day traditions are beginning to grate on my nerves. Resolutions, for one thing. It's good to have some sort of benchmark that motivates a person to behave in more logical, loving, kind and caring ways (most importantly, to one's own self). But what happens in the resolver's brain when, just days into a new year, things go awry?
Look at only yourself. You are unique. You're the only one who has the collection of experiences that make you, YOU. Your perspective counts, and you can share it, feed on it, celebrate it. Whatever you do, don't compare yourself to others. There will always be someone who's more competent, more beautiful (what is that, anyway?), more daring, more everything than yourself. So what?
Research tells us that only a small percentage of those making resolutions actually stick to plan. In other words, most fail. Anxiety coupled with depressing thoughts that follow over not meeting goals is the usual path for many. OK, so what's the alternative?
How about turning the whole damn thing on its head by shifting the focus?
This isn't rocket science, but it is brain science. Here's a nice, succinct list of positive things to do in the face of daunting new year's resolutions that stem wholly from negative feelings toward the self.
Focus on what is going right. Make a gratitude list: what do you have going for you? Are you alive? That's a plus. Waking up each day is a new start: what can you do with it to make life better?
How far have you traveled? What progress has been made, just in the last year? Allow your successes to spur you on to the next (read *higher*) level.
Set smaller and more readily attainable goals. Yes, baby steps here. One. Day. At. A. Time. Think only about TODAY. What can I do to inch toward my goals? Take a walk. Make an effort to cook yourself a healthy meal. Drink something healthy for you that doesn't wreak havoc on your liver (or your brain). Relax. Talk to your dog, your spouse, your best friend, or yourself (no worries, it's OK). Give some love to that being.
If there's one resolution to absolutely stick to, it's this one: Go ahead and make mistakes. Miss the mark. Embarrass yourself by falling down. Get up. Try again. Mistakes make us realize we are human, but they also help us stay humble. Humility is gold...it keeps us sane, preserves our sense of humor, endears us to others and even to ourselves. What's to lose? Just get up, take the next step, and keep on truckin'.
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Special thanks and recognition belong to
Justin Baksh, LMHC, MCAP, Chief Clinical Officer, Foundations Wellness Center.
I agree with everything he says. I hope I've properly represented his thoughts.
Happy New Year!
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